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Bridal Shower Etiquette
 

 
As the preparing and planning of a wedding is in full swing, it is customary to celebrate, or "shower", the bride-to-be with a memorable event surrounded by her friends and loved ones. The bridal shower should always be in good taste and planned with the bride's taste and style in mind.

   
 

 
The Hostess
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A Maid of Honor, Bridesmaid or friend can host the bridal shower; or any number of people associated with the bride can elect themselves as the planner and hostess. However, the hostess should be someone closely associated with the bride.

Several wedding party members or friends may co-host and plan the event together. Traditionally, a family member or future in-law does not host the event, however modern showers can be more flexible, and family situations are often more varied now compared to many decades ago.

Although bridal showers are becoming less formal, the most traditional location of choice for the shower is the home of the hostess. In some circumstances, it may be appropriate to host the shower at the home of the bride’s parents.


The Guest List
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It is important to consult directly with the bride regarding the guest list unless the shower is a surprise. Traditionally, relatives and friends are amongst the invited guests, but the bride may have other invitees in mind such as co-workers or lady friends of the groom. (Keep in mind a guest receiving an invitation should either bring or send a gift to the bride.)

Most importantly, invited guests of the bridal shower should also be invited guests of the wedding ceremony and reception. It is impolite to extend an invitation to a wedding shower but not the wedding. Although the couple may have several wedding and/or bridal showers, it is not appropriate to invite the same guests repeatedly to multiple showers.


Bridal Shower Invitations
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When selecting a shower theme and preparing the invitations, be considerate of the bride’s taste along with her likes and dislikes. Her personality should be reflected in every aspect of the event. If she does not like a specific color or food, try to avoid these during the planning process.

The invitations should be tasteful and directly related to the theme, such as a lingerie or kitchen shower. Be sure to include the couple’s selected colors and registration locations in the invitation to aid the guests in purchasing a suitable gift.

The invitation should also include an RSVP request. It is perfectly acceptable to designate “Regrets Only” and include your telephone number. This response type may decrease the number of RSVP telephone calls received by the hostess.

For guests well known to the couple who are unable to attend the shower, a gift should be sent to the hostess for presentation to the bride and/or couple on the day of the shower.


Food and Drink
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Drinks and refreshments should be in keeping with the time and theme of the shower. Traditionally, bridal showers are held in the mid afternoon, following lunch and before dinner. For this time of day, items such as sandwiches, nuts, cake and coffee are appropriate.

Before deciding to serve alcohol, the hostess should privately talk with the bride to determine her wishes. If alcohol is served, be sure to also include water, tea and soda as a selection for guests who choose not to drink alcoholic beverages.


Bridal Shower Gifts
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Modern etiquette now considers gift giving, from the bride to the hostess and the hostess to the bride, as appropriate. Regardless, the hostess should honor the bride with a gift, in addition to hosting her bridal shower.

The bride should begin to open gifts after refreshments have been served. A bridesmaid, or someone from the wedding party, should sit near the bride to record each gift and who gave the gift. This will ensure the bride has a complete registry of wedding gifts. (If necessary, the hostess should ask a member of the wedding party to assist in registering gifts. The hostess should remain free to attend to the bride and her guests.)

A long-standing tradition of collecting the gift bows and ribbons has been popular for many years. Another member of the wedding party should gather the gift bows and ribbons to complete a tasteful arrangement on a sturdy paper plate and should be presented to the bride at the end of the shower. This arrangement is customarily used as her “bouquet” during the wedding rehearsal.

As mentioned above, it is appropriate for the bride to give the hostess a thank you note and gift. It is not required that the bride write individual thank you notes to each guest since the gift was received in person. However, many brides elect to write individual thank you notes using the gift registry to assist in completing her notes.



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