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Tradition of the Baby Shower |
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An Important Rite of Passage The intention of a baby shower is to literally shower the mother with blessings, gifts and the good will of her best friends. It is not a religious rite, although as late as the forties and fifties, baby showers were thrown in conjunction with a baptism or a christening. If you are asked to throw a baby shower for a good friend, all that matters is that you are motivated by your heart and your desire to make her as happy as she can be on that special day. It doesn't matter how much money you have available to spend, what matters most is your creativity and your ability to appeal to the mother's needs and tastes. Whether you have been asked to throw a baby shower for an office colleague or to celebrate the maternity of your best friend from high-school, it is important for you to sit down, meditate and consciously ask yourself a few questions about the mother. Who is she? What does she like? Is she a busy multi-tasker? Is she struggling financially? Is she sentimental, practical, business-like, shy, formal, friendly? Is she a stylish individual or is she happiest kicking around in a pair of sneakers? Do her friends and family like alcoholic beverages? Are there any dietary restrictions? Does mom personally hate pink? |
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The History of the Baby Shower Nowadays it is customary for the Baby Shower to be thrown before the birth of the baby. These events are planned anywhere from six-months to just a couple of days before the blessed event. Probably the optimum time to throw a party is in the third trimester of pregnancy but not too close to the actually expected birth date. This spares the mother undue stress - even happy stress can take its toll. It also gives her time to sort out and put away her loot. Then of course there are those babies that arrive early and show up as an unexpected guest at their own baby shower! Although the custom is to throw the baby shower before birth, it is still perfectly acceptable to suggest that a baby shower be thrown after the baby is born. It is especially acceptable to suggest this if for some reason, nobody else has volunteered to engineer the event. Showers are also thrown after the adoption of a child and in this case, the child can be much older than an infant. The baby shower has come a long ways from the days when it was considered presumptuous for the shower to be thrown before the baby's birth. This presumption was based on an old superstition that all of the presents and celebration might attract they eye of Lilith, an evil angel, who may spirit the baby's soul away. Showers have also mutated over the years into Jack and Jill events, where both sexes, including the father of the child and his friends, are invited to celebrate along with the girls. Unlike women's baby showers, which have a focus on games, these showers are more about circulating with family and friends and sharing a good meal in honor of the expectant mother. It is also traditional to throw the shower at a best friend or relative's house rather than at the expectant mother's house to spare her the hassle of a mess to clean up the next day. It also gives her the privilege of being able to say good-bye and leaving the party. She may feel the need to rest rather than feeling pressured to entertain guests who are in no hurry to leave. However some mothers do feel more comfortable at home and throwing it at her house may save her any transportation hassles and the hauling around of her goodies. Rule of thumb -- when in doubt "Ask Mom!" Who Throws The Baby Shower Traditionally, it is also a close friend who usually throws the shower and not a close female relative. This appears to come from an old superstition about not encouraging the evil eye by having blood relatives invoking blessings around the baby. However, nowadays, close relatives, such as sisters, cousins, mothers and mother-in-laws are taking a more active part in throwing these events. In recent decades, more and more men are also getting into the picture by throwing office showers for pregnant co-workers. By the way, it is always nice for an expectant mother to be approached by a best friend, and it is perfectly appropriate to volunteer to throw a baby shower for an expectant mother. If she turns you down, don't harp on it as she may have a personal reason for not wanting a party (such as an illness or shyness) or another friend may have approached her first. Whatever you do, don't put her on the spot. It is also advisable to consult with other close friends and relatives of the mother-to-be to see whether a party is convenient or appropriate at this time. Not so long ago, baby showers were traditionally thrown for the first-born only. However nowadays it is not uncommon for the showers to be thrown for the second, third and even fourth child. This is based on the idea that every child deserves a warm welcome into this world.
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