Usually it is the person who suggests throwing the baby shower that is responsible for inviting the guests. However sometimes this job, which involves the mailing of invitations and keeping track of RSVPS, can be delegated to another close friend in your social circle.

It is the responsibility of the person throwing the party to have a conversation with the mother-to-be and decide who is appropriate to invite. Some expectant mothers are a little shy and prefer to be surrounded by a close circle. Other mothers-to-be like a glossy event that almost has a business-like affair.

If the shower is a surprise party then it is perfectly okay to phone up her relatives and other close friends and grill them for information about who is on the mother-to-be's good side and whose faces she would be most pleased to see at the event.

The written invitation sent through the mail is considered to be the most gracious and respectful way to invite people to a baby shower. Usually the invitation is also an expression of the theme of the party. This type of invitation can include a postage-paid envelope with your address on it as well as RSVP card or simply your phone number or email address written inside the body of the card.

Cards of this type are sold at most stationery stores. Popular stationery colors for invitations include pink (for a girl), blue (for a boy), yellow or green (for sex unknown), and white.

If you send out invitations by mail it is recommended that you do this at least four weeks before the event to give people a chance to respond.

A more casual, but definitely traditional approach, is to simply invite individuals by phone. Hostesses on a budget or busy individuals may prefer this more immediate method.

Email (or e-vites) is acceptable for friends and family who you KNOW check their messages every day, but please do not rely exclusively on this method for an RSVP. If you do not hear back within a week, make a friendly phone call and do not mention the email. There are many sites on the internet that provide free pre-designed electronic cards that you can send out en-masse to your guest list.

If you have glitter, markers and glue, you can create a homemade card. Homemade cards are considered to be especially heart-felt because of the time and effort put into their creation.

If you decide to make a homemade card, a color Xerox machine is your best friend. This way you can replicate a single card many times over. Cards can also be crafted using drawing programs and PhotoShop on a computer and then printed off as needed.

An easy idea for a homemade card is to acquire a picture of the mom-to-be and hand decorate it with gold and silver marker and glitter. Cards and envelopes can also be hinged and fastened with ribbons, yarn, safety pins and clothespins.

It is also quite easy to make a collage of images that matches the theme of your party. For instance, if the theme is ducks, you can easily manufacture a card from images clipped out of a magazine and color Xerox it. The same can be done with stars, storks, teddy bears, angels and other classic images associated with baby's arrival.

The easiest way to handle RSVPs is to direct all callers or email responses to one source. That way you are not searching all over the place to see if "so and so" is still coming.

Having people call you directly is a good idea, as that way you can ask them the following questions:

• Are you bringing food?
• Are you bringing alcohol?
• Do you know what kind of gift you are getting her?
  This may be important to discuss to avoid the duplication of gifts and is also the point in the conversation when you can remind them that a gift registry exists at a particular local store. This also increases the likelihood of the mother receiving a present she actually needs or likes.
• Ask the guests who have "duties" to call you one more time, just before the event, to make sure that arrangements have remained the same.

Most of us have friends from all walks of life and most mothers-to-be understand that some of their guests may not be able to afford a gift.

If this delicate subject comes up during a conversation, you can always say "Your presence is required, not necessarily a present." If the guest is still hesitant then you can suggest that she give the mom an IOU for a night of free babysitting so the new mom and dad can spend some quality time together.

As most people are not that responsible when it comes to returning RSVPs via phone calls or mail, you might find yourself chasing them down. If you have an email, please consider also providing that as an RSVP option.

It is recommended that you try to finalize the number of guests that are coming two weeks before the shower. This gives you ample time to confirm numbers with a caterer or restaurant or plan your own menu.

As a rule of thumb, it is a good plan to count up your RSVPs and then add 5 people if there are less than 20 guests and 10 people if there are more than twenty guests. This gives you plenty of extra breathing room if those who have not RSVP'd suddenly decide to show up or (as often happens) or if the mom-to-be decides to invite a few more people on her own at the last minute.